Happy Monday Ladies!
If you are in or going into a long distance relationship this post is for your sweet soul. I am in no way an expert on the topic and everyone’s relationship will fare so differently. However, I know the craving to feel like someone understands and you’re not alone. In what can sometimes feel like such a lonely chapter of your life. So, what I hope you take from this more than anything is comfort in knowing that you, my dear, are not alone. I am always here to chat if you need to vent or just want to say hey!
Real talk, when the baseball season started that first year, and Collin left Arizona, I honestly thought that was the end of us. I figured we would slowly stop talking. That maybe he’d reach out to catch up when he was back for the fall league later that year. So, image my surprise when he Facetimed me the first night to show me around his hotel room. Then even more when he continued to Facetime me every night after that..I’m sorry does this guy actually like me?!
We were both crazy hesitant to call whatever we were a relationship. We had both already been in Long Distance Relationship before and well, obviously those didn’t work out. We were both tainted by that feeling of loneliness you get having a piece of our heart missing day in and day out. Somewhere in all of the solo road trips to California, strikes, extra innings, and SO many fireworks though, we undeniably had become long distance relationship lovers.
Five Things I Wish I Knew Then:
How You Communicate Matters
When you first start a long distance relationship its so easy to become completely attached to your phone. You start to feel like it’s the lifeline to your relationship. You talk non-stop all day about anything & everything. The thing is you miss out on facial expressions and body language that way. Plus, when you do have face to face time theres nothing left to say.
When you live in the same city you aren’t blowing up each other’s phones all day. Sometimes we go entire days now without sending a single text. Instead, we just catch up over dinner or whenever we both get home.
Try to keep conversation during the day via text to a minimum and save the real talk for when you’re together (Facetime). You’ll have more meaningful conversations and feel much more connected if you are both looking forward to your time to chat at the end of your day.
Give Them Your Full Attention
It used to drive me completely crazy staying up till 12:00am to talk, and then Collin would be setting up his video equipment because he just got to the hotel. I would be falling asleep because I had been up all day. We had to make a decision to stop what we were doing when we were talking to only pay attention to each other.
The time that you get to have face to face with each other is few and far between compared to a relationship where you are in the same place. For example, right now I’m writing this and Collin is on the couch looking at his phone, but he’s right there, I can walk over and give him a kiss whenever I feel like it.
In a Long Distance Relationship that 30 minute Facetime at the end of the day is all you get in terms of being with them so give them your full attention during it! Drink a cup of coffee, stop working for 30 minutes and tell them about your crazy days. Say all of your I miss you’s, talk about everything you’ll do on your next visit, and send tons of kisses through the phone. Quality over quantity y’all!
Ignore The Opinions
I used to get asked all the time why I was always going to see Collin in California and he was not coming to Arizona to see me. That obviously meant he didn’t like me and I was a stage five clinger, right? Baseball life is confusing to say the least. The fact that he couldn’t just take a weekend off to come visit made no sense to most people. I mean, it’s just a job..we all get PTO, don’t we?
My biggest advice to anyone who has to buy a plane ticket to see their other half is just buy it. If you have to drive 10 hours, just go. Don’t listen to any unwarranted opinions about why you’re going to see him AGAIN. Ignore any condescending looks you may get as you pack up for ANOTHER trip. It is nobody’s relationship but yours and your partners, so it’s nobody’s business how you are managing it. End. Of. Story.
Always: See You Soon – Never: We’ll Figure It Out
We were fortunate enough to see each other once or twice a month. I had a flexible job and we were close enough that I could drive to see him. Whether it’s once a month or every six months though, trust me when I tell you the time apart is so much more bearable when you have an end goal.
Always leave with a plan so you can look forward to the next time you are going to see them. It gives you something to plan for and get excited about during the in-between time. I used to spend tons of time searching Pinterest for things to do near whatever city we would be meeting in. I loved making a plan for what we could fit in around baseball games.
This Chapter Is An Adventure
I’ll never forget the time we left Modesto after a day game and drove two hours to San Fransisco to see the sunset over the Golden Gate Bridge. We made it just in time, had dinner, got coffee, and drove the 4 hours back to Visalia.
There’s also the time we drove all the way from Visalia to San Diego for his All Star Break. We had nothing with us but the clothes we had on and bathing suits. It turned into one of our most cherished memories and best vacations we’ve ever had. Plus we have matching San Diego shirts now as souvenirs because we got tired of wearing the same clothes.
The point is, you can get down on yourself and your relationship because it’s hard sometimes and you miss each other like crazy. You can also make the absolute best of the time you do get with them. Explore each other’s cities together and create amazing memories. This season of your life is not permanent, it will pass. When it does you will cherish the days you got to spend on this adventure together.